Traits, genetics, neurogenesis and tons of other scientific terms
It’s been a while since I’ve met up with my boys. We have this weird relationship. Their houses are near to one another so they meet up fairly often. I live all the way at the other end of the island, and never once, or well, seldom do they ask me out. But whenever I do call them out for last min supper, they’ll usually push aside plans to meet up. This is usually when I’m in town.
I know them pretty well. Their characters, their traits. We all know each other pretty well. Well.. All except for me. It dawn onto me during a conversation about genetics and traits which are past down from our parents to us including the environment we grow up in makes us who we are. Nurture and Nature. But I realized.. I really don’t know what my traits are. I said it out loud, to which they responded that none of them actually really knew me that well. A laser shot through me. I’m a mystery box, no one really knows me because I’ve never let anyone in they said. I thought about it awhile, but thing is, no one really wanted to know me; to know who I was. Yes, I don’t like letting people in, but on the other hand, they never really asked, or at least, tried to know me. Or so I feel. Now I’m wondering if I’m really that uninteresting. If I’m so insignificant that no one would bother to really know me. Sometimes I feel my gender works against me. I would love to jump at the opportunity to venture on an overseas trip with them, like they recently went to Thailand, didn’t ask me along. But I guess they still feel that a girl shouldn’t bunk with them. Maybe it’s because in the past one of them liked me, but that’s so many years ago, that was when we were kids, when we were in school. I see no difference bunking with them like a sister bunking in a room with her bros. But ah well..
Same thing when one of them mentioned about another road trip to the US. He said if Friend A brings his GF and Friend B brings his, ‘then you with me meh?’, he said. Later he switched the conversation saying, “if u get your driving license den fine, you’re welcome along. But only if you get your license coz we need drivers” license aside, it sucks that I can’t be the close friend I want to be to them just because of my gender. Though they always introduce me to their friends as ‘bro’, ‘she’s a bro’.
But that aside, back to the topic. What are my traits? I really don’t know. Do I actually have any traits? Some people use to say that I seem to be a very career centric person, just coz I wouldn’t date anyone. But that wasn’t true. I really don’t know what my traits are really.. I’m lazy for one. That’s pretty much all I can think of..
I did a quick google on ‘what are my traits’, read through a few lists of traits, I seem to possess mainly negative traits like laziness, stubbornness, quarrelsome sometimes. I guess I can be fair, encouraging and helpful sometimes. But those are such generic traits. What defines me? What makes me who I am?