Attractiveness of intellect
This post was saved in my drafts for quite a while. I never got around finishing it till now. But here goes..
I just realized recently that I’m actually more attracted to intellect than looks.
I’ve always wondered what sort of men I’m attracted to. I never seem to have a specific type. The guys I dated were never drop dead gorgeous. I was never infatuated with a person for their good looks. (Ok, minus the occasional pop star here and there)
To be honest, I recently realized that I’ve sort of fallen for this guy. I first got to know him a couple years back, bout 2 years ago. He was my raid leader then (yes, WoW) and back then, i was terrified of him.
We both played the same class, and in Cata and MoP, I was just down right bad. I use to be really good back in wotlk though.
But yea, I was terrified of him because I knew that he knows whenever I screw up. Not too long into the game, I quit because I couldnt stand doing daily grinds, and by not doing daily grinds, I fell behind on gearing up and thus, was underperforming. i hated being a weakling. I didn’t want to give them the reason to go ‘ah, what to do, she’s a girl. Girls are baddies who cant carry their own weight’, so I quitted.
I met up with them once for dinner, he was there and he terrified me as well irl. Hahaha!
Anyway, almost 2yrs past when the new expansion of the game came out. Warlords of Dreanor. I was back in action with my bestie. Our old guild master revived the inactive guild and soon we were back, casually. My guild mates dont log on much, they’re too busy with work and relationships, so we didn’t have anyone to play with. Anyway, lets cut this story short, he started playing with us and another guildie started adding us to their skype calls.
—— Break ——-
Finally resuming this post on the way home alone from a company gaming night with one too many drink. (Yes, i still pwn-ed)
Anyway, the more I talked with him, the more I left behind the intimidating leader I always thought him to be. He started seeming more boyish, just a guy who after a day of hardwork, want to go home to a virtual world, relax and play out his adventure fantasies of slaying beasts. And i guess, the social element of interacting with like minded individuals as himself; cept, not one as hardcore as he is.
He reaches home before I do. So probably about 7pm, and either sleeps while we’re on skype together around 4am or after I head to work or bed around 6.
The first few Skype calls were were in together was initiated by his friend. They, much like my BFF and I were always in call together. During that time, my BFF didn’t have time to play, it was during the xmas season. When the new year past, and we had gotten more use to each other, in addition to our mutual friend traveling back overseas to resume school, he started calling me out of the blue instead when we were both online. Initially he called a group that the 3 of us were in. Then he just called me when our mutual friend wasn’t online. The first few times he did that however, i was pretty sure he accidentally pressed the call button as we were still a lil awkward when it was just the two of us. At least, i was. Some time last year I had actually found out that he was in a relationship. When our mutual friend wanted to give us a call but he replied in guild chat saying ‘wait. Talking to gf.’. My BFF n I privately poked fun at that because we never imagined a guy like him who spent seemingly all his free time in this virtual world, would have time to upkeep a GF. But well, one day I finally asked, and I too told him about us poking fun at him. But he didn’t really mention much about her. Admittedly, I was quite disappointed. I finally meet a guy who is passionate, prolly even more passionate than I am at a game and yet at the same time he was able to balance real world commitments. Biggest factor of all was his intelligence. I envied his GF. I never thought i’ll meet someone smarter and more knowledgable about the world and our virtual world than my BFF. But I did. But.. He just had to be attached…
A few weeks after finding out he was attached, we were having our weekly runs in game. He suddenly went mute n said he had to brb. I instantly knew his GF was there with him. Ok so.. It was more of a lucky guess since why else would a guy who’s so devoted to a game have to go afk while we were forming the run. He sounded.. Well… Distracted.
About midnight and on our last boss, he suddenly went mute again saying that his gf was sleeping and that he couldnt talk. Of coz all these mention about GF broke me a lil, but, it’s only natural I guess.
He played a lil less the next day. I’d imagine he’d been playing so much that his GF had to come over to babysit him and make sure he goes to sleep. But the routine went back to normal after a couple of days.
I had grown to look forward to his calls that lasted for hours, averaging 6-8 hrs i guess. It was just fun having someone to play with and some human recognition via voice.
Truth, i know I should just stop playing the game. I don’t want to implicate happy relationships and i don’t want to be always looking forward to his calls.
He never fails to mention his GF every now and then, prolly as a tell to sort of tell me that he’s not flirting with me, he’s not interested in me, and that he’s serious about his GF. But there are times when he teases me, or does stuff in game just to provoke me like when he gets the AoE damage debuff and Leap of Faiths me into him because I was telling him to get out of the raid. Stuff like these.. I dont know.. I guess guys just enjoy teasing me. I’m just a fun person to tease, to talk with, to interact, to game with. But I’m not the girl who they want to be romantically involved with.
I’m the BFF tom boy best girl friend who shares their interests and speaks their language. But that’s all I am to them. I’m not a girl with a potential to be an object of desire. I’m just a playmate who’s there during game time to accompany them. Thats all i am..